Ireland's OWN Poetry and Prose

Final Betrayal
—by míchealín daugherty

At the farthest end of the spectrum is the Final Betrayal
-- the one the leaves you numb,done.
Most of you hover somewhere in the middle…
Mhaith thu! because
You don’t want to know the Final Betrayal, it’s not like the others.
Betrayal from dysfunctional family members, no surprise!
Marital mistakes, lovers who turn out to be losers, no surprise!
But Betrayal from Them, one on this side of the water, one on the other
I did not expect it.

I gave heart and mind, and I won many hearts and minds
for The Cause, and
For Them. Did as they asked, gave all I had to give…
And I endured the federal tailgates when I travelled, the airport delays,
the “plants” at activist events, the job loss, the phone calls…
and I still kept on
…and I endured the bipols and the otherwise mentally unstable types,
initially drawn to the movement per their own delusions,
eventually becoming useful tools of narcs and touts…
the dorothyfrankkatrinaclaire-stalkers and their merciless,
emotionally draining harassment
…and I still kept on…
And I endured the tragically comic, yet hurtful lies in the tabloids,
and I with no money to bring suit for slander, and no help…
I…still kept on.

But in the end, the Final Betrayal still came from Them…
Them for whom I endured; Them for whom I gavegavegavegavegave…
At the time of my greatest need, they discarded me:
One more or less immediately;
One at first feigned concern, but when asked for concrete help,
withdrew into his own self-absorbed world as well.

So know this…

The Final Betrayal is the one you least expect
The others hurt, but this one kills something deep inside you.
And (godforbid) if you ever experience it,
only then will you know precisely what I mean in this prose…
Because they don’t eat their own,
oh no its much worse…
They chew slowly, savour every morsel, suck every nutrient…
And when there’s nothing left to take,
They spit you out, still alive but with a big empty aching hole

Your loyalty, your dedication, your endurance….mean nothing…
The Final Betrayal still comes
Regardless.